Second Chances

I've never had much confidence in myself. I've always been confused at what I 'want to be when I grow up'. I feel like I wasted my time in college, going to school for Architecture. Something I used to love, quickly turned into something I hated. But I didn't know how to get out. I was so nervous, and disappointed in myself to tell anyone that I wasn't happy in a field I spent so much time in. I'm over my head in debt from school for something I never finished. It weighs on me every day. But it's also something I can't dwell on or it will eat me up. 

After loosing my job of almost five years, I got accepted into a program that would forever change my life. I was scarred to start something that was completely out of my comfort zone, but with Mr. King by my side believing in me, I knew it was just what I needed.

The Rhode Island Community Food Bank offers this amazing 14- week program. A second chance. From the first day, I couldn't even imagine what it would have in store for me. 

I met so many people that have influenced me, and pushed me to do better. I found my confidence. 

When I was interviewed for the program, I had no idea I had a little baby girl growing in my belly. I started in October of 2011. It was hard to keep the secret of my growing belly. I had no idea what the reaction of my peers and leaders would be. Much to my surprise they not only welcomed me as a soon-to-be new mom, but embraced it. In ways I couldn't even describe.

I should also let you know I had about the worst pregnancy on the planet. I was not only sick in the morning, but afternoon and night time too. It was difficult for me to keep any kind of food down. I weighed less at two months pregnant than I did in middle school. 

It was a struggle for me every single day to get out of bed and get going. (It was especially hard on tuna sandwich Friday)

The Community Kitchen Program ran from 9-4 Monday through Friday. We prepared over 500 meals daily for the underprivileged children throughout the providence area. It was part of an after school program. That meal, for some was the only one they would have for the night. To see how thankful those kids are; the appreciation that comes from them for something that you created, is so humbling

It was the first time in my life that I woke up with a purpose. I was excited to wake up and go to 'school'. It was the first time I thrived in a school environment. I tried every day to arrive at least a half hour early. (Because 15 minutes is early, early is on time, and on time is late).

I hate people who are late. 

I met so many people during this program that would forever change my life. I felt more connected with these people, than some that I have known my whole life.

One in particular, our head chef instructor. She is absolutely amazing in every way. I confided in her about my pregnancy, I was nervous for some reason. When I told her she embraced me with one of the warmest, motherly hugs. I felt so much unexpected love in that moment. I had someone and somewhere I knew I could be my complete self and they all loved me, for me. I thrived. 

For the next ten weeks they really helped me prepare for motherhood. I didn't get a break though. I still busted my ass harder to prove that I could be just as strong at 4-7 months pregnant, as the rest of my fellow chefs. They even through me a surprise baby shower. Absolutely heart warming. I had no idea, and I've never had a surprise party before. I felt so much love from this group of strangers who became so much more than that.

Now I need to explain, this program is about cooking and food, but also about how to improve ourselves. I learned more about myself during this program than my previous twenty plus years on this planet. We were taught how to answer tough interview questions, to write resumes, open up with feelings, and at the end of the program was our big ServSafe test. 

It's crazy what you can accomplish when you have confidence. For the first time I knew what my passion was. I'm still not sure exactly what I'm going to be when I grow up, but food is definitely in my future. So right now I want to give a huge shout out to everyone at the RICFB that helped me blossom into who I am today. I was more proud of myself when I walked across that stage than at any other point in my life. I finished something. Something I was truly confident in, something I really loved. I graduated with distinction, never missed a day, and was chef of the month. 

The only thing I regret is not going back to the FB as much as I would like. However it still holds such a special place in my heart. We have a little FB jar that we put all of our change in. When we fill it up, along with a bag of food, we will bring it back and donate. I think it's super important to teach H, about giving back to the community. It's not much but every little but counts. 

I also hope one day to run my own food truck. When that happens I promise to give back endlessly. One dollar from every ticket slip will be donated to the FB. Pinky promise. It truly is an amazing program that they have. I believe I would not be the strong, confident, chef-mommy I am today without them. So when I am better off and am running my own business I want to show them how much I appreciate them taking me in. 

Thank you for helping me better myself, and for letting me- be me.